Dual Thoughts . .

Imagine a situation where every second option you think of is not only becoming a reality but indeed is far better choice than the first one. After reminding all my (somewhat painful) experiences from the past I can say that I am a victim of this wierd philosophy. As far as I can remember, the first blow of this effect struck me when I was in my Senior Inter (+12) eagerly waiting for the results of my board examinations. My worst fears came true when I found out that I haven't got enough score to secure a seat in BITS (my first option). My second option, which I dreaded to think off, is to do a long-term. It seems that this philosophy had focused its entire concentration on me I have nothing to do but to prepare myself for the long-term. I always thought of preparing for IIT's since my school days. I thought it's better late than never and packed my bags to pursue my fruitless dream of getting an admission in IIT's. At that time Gautam college is considered the best around for the IIT coaching. So I joined Gautam college (hostel) to do IIT long-term, at that moment my first option to secure a seat in IIT. At this point all of you might be wondering "Isn't he thinking a bit extra?? Getting into IIT by preparing only one year where people take years to make their dream come true" Don't be hasty. . You will soon find out about my hard determination. Just two days after joining the hostel, everything is getting more clear to me. I realized that I am nowhere near in acheiving my goal. Soon I dropped out of that college and joined another college in my city to do my long-term in EAMCET, my second option. Unfortunately even the college which I joined is my second option. At that point getting a good rank in EAMCET was my first priority. For the sake of having an option I appeared for the exam of DA-IICT. Fortunately, I got an admission in DA-IICT which is considered as an IIT++, obviously not by us but by our previous director. Also I realized that my dream of getting into IIT's can never come this close (by getting into IIT++). By now you would have realized how strong this philosphy is having its effect on me. Like these I have countless experiences during my graduate years. The most recent one I can think of is getting an internship offer from Sun Microsystems, which of course is my second option. The first option which I have is to join Nielsoft, as they offered the internship in the campus placements. This so called philosophy is raising some serious doubts in me. Is it my fault of having lack of determination towards my goals? Or is it that the path I have choosen has the hidden jewels??
Don't know what surprises it held for me in the future.